Jeremy Clarkson, Steve Allen and Edward Sheeran: our top tips for an inspirational TV show

Sheeran’s story: a pop star marries an A-list star and wins a Wimbledon Women’s title, so makes fortunes in music, and sees off Ed Sheeran.

Her TV show idea: I think I could do a show about me and Ed getting married and going to Wimbledon. We just love playing at each other’s weddings. Why does everyone have to win Wimbledon?

His story: a pop star marries an A-list star and wins a Wimbledon Women’s title, so makes fortunes in music, and sees off Ed Sheeran.

Her TV show idea: I could probably make a show about the wedding and the relationship, and talk about famous people.

His story: an A-list star marries an A-list star and wins a Wimbledon Women’s title, so makes fortunes in music, and sees off Ed Sheeran.

Her TV show idea: Yeah, I could make a TV show about me as a pop star being a Wimbledon male champion and working with Dermot O’Leary and trying to become the biggest star ever.

Her TV show idea: Very groovy. Love the 70s style. Don’t forget to get a soundtrack.

Her TV show idea: It doesn’t really relate to the way they act, does it?

Her TV show idea: It sounds a bit laddish, doesn’t it? Think about the messiness of marriage, the day-to-day drama. I think I could do a TV show about a real-life Will and Grace as a couple at the centre of a big family. It’s all a bit messy.

Her TV show idea: Yup, I love Idris Elba and Idris is so funny. Think of an American TV show set in Liverpool that has Idris Elba as the gay stepdad. He’d take his shirt off, talking about Idris.

Her TV show idea: I’m in every way a fan of the show Michael, it’s fun, so I could make a series about the American Michael Anthony Laroquette, Michael Sheen and James McAvoy on a really wild Greek holiday.

Her TV show idea: Actually that really does sound like fun. It’s such an international cast. Everyone’s famous in America and if I make it in Britain it could be really different.

Lagarde’s TV show idea: This is my weird idea for a TV show – to build a house in the Himalayas and then just get it over with. Michael Laroquette, a helicopter pilot, thinks his House of Parnassus is too expensive to rent, so he’s like, ‘Fuck it, let’s just build a house in the Himalayas. Have a son and forget about it.’

Her TV show idea: I think it sounds a bit Guy Ritchie. But I like helicopters, so I like that idea.

Sheeran’s TV show idea: There’s one small slight problem: he didn’t actually make that a TV show.

Her TV show idea: This sounds mad. It’s got an American cast and Michael Caine, Emma Thompson and Martin Scorsese making it. It’ll be in 70s-style action movies. I think I can get them and win BGT for this.

Trading Sunset by Steve Allen is published by Orion and is out now

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